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Maximising Your Chances of Getting the Job AFTER the Interview

You’ve just finished your job interview. Time to relax and mind yourself with other business until you get a response, right? Well, this is definitely everybody’s first reaction, but it is not the right one.  Given today’s competitive job market, you must keep in mind that you should also do a follow-up; otherwise you may risk losing the position to other candidates. You also have to be careful not to look desperate, but rather look persistent and prove your willingness to land the job.

There is no certain way to know if you got the job until you receive an actual offer. Don’t forget, they may genuinely think you were absolutely fantastic, but someone else could end up being better. Generally, there is more than one strong candidate for a job position, especially in the current marketplace.

These are a few tips that could prove valuable to you after the interview, in order to maximise your chances of getting the job:

 

  1. Follow the instructions given – After the interview, the recruiter may tell you to contact them by email. If so, do not contact them by phone. Listen to their instructions precisely and act accordingly. If you somehow forgot to ask during the interview what the next steps are, write an email asking for clarification. It shows that you care about the job and that you are ready for the next phase
  2. Provide documentation to prove your job abilities – If possible, when you do a follow-up by email, also include documents that show just how good you are at your job. Of course, these documents have to be non-confidential samples, press mentions or some public statistics in order to prove your worth. It’s an excellent way to show your professionalism and work ethic.
  3. Don’t become a stalker – It is quite understandable that you are nervous and anxious about the outcome of the interview. However, try not to bother the employer too much. After following their exact instructions, you have to wait. If you haven’t heard from them in a couple of days, it is probably time to move on. Also, don’t go out sending LinkedIn invites to the people who have interviewed you before the hiring process ends. It comes off as being a bit desperate. Try and remain calm.
  4. Start preparing for the next set of interviews – Life can surprise you and you never know when you can receive an email announcing you about another upcoming interview, or if you’re asked to come in for a second interview. It’s absolutely vital that you be prepared at a moment’s notice, Also, if you wish to set yourself apart from other candidates, (and I assume you do) try and find interesting facts and/or figures about the company where you applied for the job. It could be anything ranging from an award they have just won to a recent environmental initiative they have started. It’s best when you introduce this information naturally into the conversation at the interview and it will definitely leave a good impression with the recruiters and it will also increase your chances of landing the job.
  5. Analyse your interview performance – After an interview it’s also important that you relax for a couple of hours. Once you managed to distance yourself from the subject, analyse your performance. Think about what you said and how the interviewer reacted, what you could have said better and keep that in mind if you get called in for a second interview. Furthermore, pay attention to the recruiter and what he says, it is possible that of the things he or she said to have annoyed you one way or another. This helps you determine whether this company suits your principles and values.

Last but not least, try to make good use of the experience of the interview. Regardless of how it went, you’ve still won something: if it went well, you’ve got the job, if not, you’ve gained the experience necessary to land the next one.

 

Sources:

http://www.forbes.com

http://www.businessinsider.com

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The Workplace of 2020 : A Different Experience Altogether

In the course of the next  few years, the workforce will be comprised of no less than five generations, starting from Traditionalists and Baby Boomers and ending with the all new “Generation 2020” – these being represented by people born after 1997. Given this situation, employers around the world will face numerous challenges in order to recruit, motivate and develop all of these different types of employees. It is believed that by 2020, the office will become mobile in order to accommodate employees worldwide. The best talents will claim imaginative, ingenious new contracts. Organisations unwilling or unable to provide such a shift in their business will suffer greatly in their mission of recruiting the best candidates.

HR departments face an uphill battle in preparing for 2020 and beyond. Large corporations are required to organise themselves globally in order to deal appropriately with employees, consumers, supply chain partners and shareholders who are dispersed worldwide. CSR(Corporate Social Responsibility) is on top of their list, followed closely by learning in terms of wikis, social media and blogs in order to extend their connectivity. Companies must adopt a series of changes ranging from operating processes to employee benefits – and everything must be done with complete transparency.

HR professionals are people too; hence they must continue to develop their skills and social awareness. They should know what is going on in their local communities, and understand its nuances, be aware of global issues and be open-minded in order to use new procedures such as crowd sourcing. By 2020, HR professionals should be proficient in everything digital and here is a list of a few things worth mentioning: video uploads, social networking, blogs, instant messaging, tagging etc.

The example given above isn’t the only change employers will have to face. By 2020, there will be 10 forces that will shape how employers think and act:

 

  1. Shifting workforce demographics” –In comparison to the 2010 workforce data, the predictions for 2020 show that US employees will comprise of even more people older than 55, more women and more Latinos. In Europe and Asia for example, due to a drop in fertility rates, the workforce will consist of even more aging individuals.
  2. The knowledge economy” –As mentioned in a previous article, the skill gap has started to represent a problem and will continue to be one in the foreseeable future. Work is becoming more technically demanding, and it will require skills such as: listening, relationship building, judgement, communicating with colleagues and problem solving.
  3. Globalisation” –For various reasons, a great number of companies included in the Financial Times Global 500, have their headquarters located in the following countries: Brazil, Russia, India or China. In just a few short years, the BRIC countries are said to become economic powerhouses. The workforce is becoming ‘virtual’, with less people on-site and with integrated headquarters operations.
  4. The digital workplace” – The digital space is growing at an increasingly high rate. Companies now require people who can cope with the sheer amount of information, whilst keeping it secure and private. Organisations are also looking for candidates who can generate new and exciting digital content.
  5. The omnipresence of mobile technology” –At a global scale, the number of mobile phones outnumber that of people. Consequently, there are countries where phones trump people.There are over 7,200 education apps already for the iPhone, some of them made by financial institutions, such as Wachovia and Bank of America, who use them for online performance support, sales training, product knowledge and sales training.
  6. The culture of connectivity” –Given the fact that we are always a few clicks away from social media, most people have become ‘ hyper connected’ and that is disrupting the balance and boundaries between home and office.
  7. Participation society” –Consumers are getting involved in improving any type of product, service and business. An example would be Best Buy’s Blue Shirt Nation, which amasses 24,000 employee users. They have gathered online via various social networks, in order to improve company operations.
  8. Social learning decade” –The period of time between 2010 and 2020 will become known as the time of ‘social networking, social learning and social media’.
  9. Corporate social responsibility” –By 2020, CSR will have become even more important than it is today. At present, 88% of people graduating university wish to work for companies that have CSR ideals complementary to their own. A great example for this is IBM’s Corporate Service Corps. They place members of their staff to work on CSR projects in developing countries where the organisation is expected to grow within the next years.
  10. Millennials in the workforce” – This group of people expect companies to use the same tools they have been using since they’ve become digitally active. Technology dominates every aspect of their lives and it comes as no surprise that 41% of millennials choose to communicate electronically at the office rather than on the phone or face to face. Millennials tend to use their own technology in the office and 75% of them think that access to technology makes them more efficient workers. Nonetheless, technology can be problematic and lead to inter-generational conflict in the workplace. This tension makes millennials feel held back by outdated working styles.

Finding the right talent, the best fit for the job and your organisation, can be a very challenging task. It requires deep knowledge of your own organisation’s culture and keen understanding of the candidate’s personality, strengths, interests, work style and other characteristics. Our technology and solutions will do the work for you, helping you find employees who can flourish and reach the highest performance required to constantly bring your company forward.

Request a free demo:

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Sources:

“The 2020 Workplace” – Jeanne C. Meister and Karie Willyerd

Forbes.com

Skill Gap: Why is it still a Major Concern (Part 2)

This article is part of a series. For part 1 click here.

There is a steady decline in the U.S. system’s possibility of nurturing these midlevel skills, due to the fact that automation is cutting down the need for low-skilled workers. Luckily, there are local initiatives which are trying to address the respective skill gap in their areas.

A good example on how to narrow the skill gap is represented by internships specifically tailored to college graduates in order to meet the more evolving needs of today’s employers. Some university programs include the so-called “cooperative degree programs” also known as co-ops. This type of approach will allow both employers and future graduates to assess the market and their specific place in the world of work. Employers have the chance to evaluate skills such as: employee attitude and work ethic, but also offering their training to their temporary recruits, specifically tailored to the organisation’s needs. These co-ops and internships help students earn their necessary credit in order to graduate, earn proper work experience, and best of all getting them to apply classroom studies in the real business world.

For over 20 years, there has been a shortage of “transferable” workplace skills, and although there have been many initiatives in terms of laws, guidelines and goals, not many problems have been resolved.

These “transferable” workplace skills have represented a real problem for the private sector for the past 20 years. HR managers have stopped putting too much emphasis on skills such as reading literacy and computational aptitude. In today’s workplace, soft skills are dominating the office needs, and they are as follows: interpersonal and intrapersonal knowledge, time management, ethics, teamwork, personal organisation, interpersonal communication, problem solving, anger management and reasoning.

At a global scale, Millennials display unique attributes that conflict with society and the idea of work as it currently stands. This group of people have spent their entire or nearly entire life connected to technology, rapid accessibility of information and a permanent connection with family and friends. Straight from birth, Millennials have been told they are special and they were rewarded nearly instantaneously for even the smallest of accomplishments.

Millennials are much better equipped to handle active learning that can teach them metacognitive skills. Such operating systems are being beta-tested as we speak, in order to assure the teaching of a higher-order and analytical skills. In the United States, the successful applications of e-learning for workplace training are expected to be introduced into the K-12 curricula where they are foreseen to shrink the metacognitive skill gap in public schools. Games and simulations offer a great basis for education and training, with at least 45% of Millennials being active learners.

In approximately 10 years, companies everywhere will move all types of employee training programs towards the online. Nowadays, distance education done through e-learning is just a stepping stone towards a new structure of education.

The level of information a worker can acquire at the workplace takes half the time compared to the classical classroom delivery, thus retention can be increased by 30% and the cost of training can be reduced by 40%. There will be a quick and positive ROI because employee efficiency is substantially increased.

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Skill Gap: Why is it still a Major Concern (Part 1)

Although the latest economic recession has ended a few years ago, the rate of unemployment in the United States is still high. This still remains a problem, even though employers are in a continuous struggle to fill certain job posts, most of them in the area of middle-skills jobs: nursing, computer technology, high-skill manufacturing, etc. These vacancies require education at a postsecondary level and in some special cases, even college math degrees or courses. At the moment in the States, 69 million people are involved in middle-skills jobs, which represent about 48% of the workforce. The skill gap is obvious.

The U.S. Bureau of Labour Statistics doesn’t do estimates on vacancies based on skill category, but if we were to combine the data from the government on education and the training requirements needed, it can be discovered that almost 25 million, or 47%, of new jobs that will appear from 2010 to 2020 will be in the category of middle-skills.

CEO’s and HR leaders need to figure out which method of training people will help their organisations fill those vacancies, thus mending the wage stagnation that has engulfed the country and limiting the gap between households with high and low income.

Given the current work climate, companies should take charge and develop programs in which workers can be capable of filling the skill gap. To be realistic, such a thing can happen on a global scale only if companies cooperate with each other, with educational institutions, with unions at both regional and national level.

Businesses rarely disclose any information regarding their expenses on training programs, and when they wish to cut costs, their first target is represented by HR investments. Nowadays, many organisations shy away from training investments because they fear that their competitors won’t make the same investments and they will also steal their workers. In order to minimise this risk, combined investment is recommended. Such collaborative work has been put into effect in a number of countries such as the U.S., UK, Australia and Sweden, with great success.


Read also: Top 7 HR Trends for 2017


Things have greatly shifted since we’ve entered the 21st century. For the majority of the 20th century, people had two ways in which they acquired their skills and prosperity. The first one is, obviously, on the job. Organisations promoted people from within, and it enabled their employees to develop towards higher-level occupations. Unions were invested into negotiating specific career ladders that were directly connected to seniority and skills, and also accompanied employers at an industry or occupational level in order to host various training programs and apprenticeships. Having such a system in place guaranteed a constant flow of talent, very well equipped with skills of the highest level.

A second approach to acquiring skills was represented by college. The American dream has always represented an ideal for any fellow American. Young people across the U.S. were told that in order to achieve the highest peaks of the American dream was to follow the rules and study hard in a field that best suited their talents and interests. However, problems always arise. People with degrees in liberal arts have seen a significant drop in job opportunities. The numbers speak for themselves: only 15% of college graduates have majored in math, science, engineering and technology. This percentage has been a constant for over 2 decades although demand has grown exponentially.

This article is part of a series. For part 2 click here.

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How to attract and retain great salespeople

In the age of the customer, the consumers have gained significantly more knowledge and control over the sales process than any time in history – they have a huge variety of options available, they are digitally active and they are less dependent upon the sales representatives, and their expectations match up their investment. While the customers’ habits and behaviours have changed, the universal sales strategies have remained basically the same.

In a recent research study done by Cranfield Management School, it has been revealed that 90% of the people working in sales are facing major difficulties in making an effective pitch. That is why good sales reps represent a competitive advantage for every business, if they have them.

Also in regard to people in sales, David Thorp, the director of research and professional development at the Chartered Institute of Marketing had this to say: “First-rate salespeople are focused and can target potential customers effectively. They understand which customers have the money, authority and need to buy from them.” He continued stating that “They also build strong relationship with customers, which is key to customer retention. It is worth investing the time and the money in getting good staff, as they will be able to add much more to an organisation’s bottom line than poor sales staff, which can be a liability.”

The selection you make regarding sales people will determine the success of your organisation. If you are willing to invest time in the selection process, this will solve half of the sales job. Competent sales reps know how to highlight the numerous benefits of your product or service. These people are skilled in detecting possible prospects and quick in surmounting any objections that may come along the way. Sales professionals are able to sell effectively in the most adverse situations and even in the world of cut-throat competition. What makes them so efficient is the fact that they possess an internal drive towards achievement, a fantastic sense of seriousness to sort everything out and accomplish their goals, even when the external factors are detrimental to their cause.

As mentioned above, the selection process is very tedious, but extremely important. This means that even if you find a good sales rep that doesn’t mean you found the most suitable candidate for your organisation. When selecting, there are two key aspectsthat you must take into account, besides the person’s capability to sell:

  1. Is that person compatible with the company’s culture? – If the candidate and the rest of your team do not get along, then it’s crystal clear you do not wish to hire that person. As soon as your sales numbers grow, this will involve support from the other departments in your company. If the departments despise sales, it is absolutely certain you won’t get the profit you expect due to the fact that the sales department won’t receive the help it needs.
  2. Does the candidate understand what exactly are you selling? – If a sales rep doesn’t understand what your organisation is selling, how can you expect them to sell anything? Although they may get lucky a few times, you must be certain that they acknowledge what the company is selling.

In order to get an idea of what a good salesperson is, I recommend you start evaluating every encounter you have as a customer. What are those people doing that makes you feel comfortable about doing business with them? Learning to detect good sales reps represents the first step and it is of upmost importance.

Thoroughly Evaluate your Sales Team

Although sales are an area where results speak for themselves, you must also evaluate the process through which your team does make the sale – it is obviousthat if they don’t have good results, something in their sales process is not working accordingly.

In order to solve this problem, evaluate how your team implements every sales process from start to finish. Afterwards, you can properly assess where they are struggling, why, and help them through coaching. It will greatly benefit them by developing their skills to overcome each step necessary them develop their skills for each step necessary.

Use a Sales assessment for your team

For a proper assessment of your sales force, you need to weigh in your current staff, but also candidates you wish to hire. If you do this in an effective manner, you will know for certain that every sales rep you bring in will possess all the necessary personality attributes to perform at a top level and have high sales results.

One of best ways, if not the best way, to evaluate your staff and candidates is to use assessments such as: GR8 Sales, GR8 Teams and GR8 Engagement. The questions and issues raised by these evaluations will help you determine if the candidates have at least one of these traits:

  • Building Client Relationships
  • Sales Process Management
  • Understanding clients’ needs
  • Enthusiasm
  • Loyalty
  • Respect
  • Perseverance

If the candidates you evaluate score high in at least one of these traits, that means he is a driven individual and there is a great amount of opportunity for success as a “hunter” representative of your sales department. Afterwards, you can have another interview with him in order to be sure that person fits to your organisational culture, thus making an informed decision about a future employee.

How to Improve your Sales Team Results

Offer them as much constructive feedback as possible. You cannot expect your team to improve if they are unaware of the mistakes they are making. This is the reason why it is imperative to have regular meetings with them to offer them support and advice on how they are performing.

When you offer your thoughts on their progress make sure you include both the positive and the negative feedback. In order for your team to improve, they must realise that besides their strengths they also have weaknesses. Nonetheless, keep in mind that negative feedback is for one-on-one meetings only. If you criticise a salesperson in front of his colleagues, he may start resenting you, start working poorly and have a low level of engagement. If this takes place one too many times, high employee turnover is right around the corner, and it can cost your organisation a large sum of money.

Present your team with the best tools and resources for them to thrive

After you evaluate and assess your sales team, by now, you should have a clear idea regarding the areas they are struggling at that moment. Given the fact you have this information, search for the right tools and resources your team requires in order to help them surmount the deficiencies they are encountering.

Let’s say one of your employees is experiencing problems with productivity because he cannot allocate the necessary time for sales calls. For him to overcome this problem, you can research for the right type of scheduling programme to best fit your team’s needs. However, there are situations where your whole team can struggle with productivity. In this scenario, you may have to analyse their working process and establish which tasks can be automated. Implement the automation, leaving your team with more time to sell and less time on unrelated tasks.

The examples I have presented you are just a few ideas of how you can improve your team’s performance, but be aware of the fact that each sales team and person is unique and have their own particular needs. So as to pinpoint the exact problems faced by your team, remember to communicate with them constantly and assist them in finding the best solutions for the best sales results.

Assessing the salespeople, developing them and aligning the sales strategies should become a top priority for the organisations willing to thrive in the customer’s age. Great People Inside helps you find the right talent, the best fit for the job and your organisation. It requires deep knowledge of your own organisation’s culture and keen understanding of the candidate’s personality, strengths, interests, work style and other characteristics. Our technology and solutions will do the work for you, helping you find employees who can flourish and reach the highest performance required to constantly bring your company forward.

Request a free demo:

 

 

 

Sources:

www.marketingdonut.com.uk

www.entrepreneur.com

www.nasp.com

www.salesdrive.info

www.quicksprout.com

Dealing With Stress, Step 8: Acceptance

(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Accepting one’s human, thus fallible, nature is hard for most people. Either because of the upbringing or because of acquired or innate perfectionism, it does not matter. The errors seem to bear a weight far greater than consequences would grant, usually.

Moreover, there seems to be a worldview that equates “error” to “personal flaw”, and as such any error seems to diminish the already frail sense of self-worth. Combine that with the over-the-top reactions of those around (how many times a small oversight was blown out of proportion by a boss or colleague? How many times small mishaps were used in office wars?), and errors sometimes take on the color of impending doom.

Now, take a break from the self-blame cycle and imagine that the very same thing, in the same circumstances, happened to one of your friends, and you have to talk to him.

How would you treat your friend?

Would you beat them over the head and make them grovel in penance? Or would you encourage them to go on, correct any consequences to the best of their abilities and learn from their mistakes?

I bet most answers would be the latter, not the former: encourage, support, learn, move on.

Why would you treat yourself differently?

Next time you get into hot water for something you did, stop beating yourself and imagine the same thing happened to one of your friends. And treat yourself as you would treat that friend. Strive, of course, to mitigate any negative results, apologize and correct where this is due, but stop before putting yourself through a court-martial again.

Compassion is not only for strangers; it is mainly for yourself. Not because you are selfish, but because you are your most important resource. Take care of that resource before it wears out.

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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here

Dealing With Stress, Step 6 and 7: Focus Attention Elsewhere

(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Stop ruminating. It is natural, but not always constructive. I’d dare to say it almost never proves useful. It is not to say you shouldn’t analyse what happened; this helps you learn and get better at things. But it doesn’t help in any way to replay the movie time and again, beating yourself up or inventing alternative scenarios.

In order to stop brooding and start building, turn your attention to the outside. Consciously establish your objective: “I will scan the street and take in as many details of the outside world as I can“. Focus on things you like. If you are passionate about colors, look for every shade, for every nuance you encounter. If you are into smells, remark as many different smells, aromas, flavors as you can, from the fleeting perfumes of the passers-by to the thick smell of restaurant kitchens to the sharp smell of fresh paint as you pass by a door being redecorated. Whatever you like, look for it actively.

At first, this probably won’t last long. Your mind wants you ruminating. That’s OK. Don’t fret, don’t judge yourself, don’t try too hard. Observe the return to inner scenarios, file the fact away and get your eyes and attention back outside. Repeat as necessary.

If at all possible, take yourself into the nature: a wood, a park, a field. Nature is a healer, more so than any other man-made environment. But if you can’t, the cityscape will do nicely, as long as you remember that the essence is not succeeding in this exercise, but the repetition itself. Right, the repetition. Just like at the gym: it is not the weight you’re lifting, but how many times you lift it, that shapes muscles.

Attention and focus are much like muscles: you have to work them to make them stronger.

And while you’re at it, combine it with Step 7: straighten up. Raise your forehead, look upon the world as you own it and soon you will be better. “Fake it till you make it” is not a lie. It takes effort, for sure. But it works.

If your mind plays tricks on you, it is only adequate for you to play tricks back on it. You should be the winner.

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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here

Dealing With Stress, Step 5: Clinical Mode On

(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Observing dispassionately allows control. Once you managed to take the previous step (dis-identifying Yourself from Mind) – or even at the same time – start observing yourself as you would an item in a museum.

Start by observing what happens inside your body. It is easier with the body, because it doesn’t play the identification trick. Scan your muscles, your gut, your heart, your face. Notice the tension in your arms and legs, notice the feeling of a solid rock in your belly, notice the fast-paced, shallow breathing, notice the sensation of heat in your cheeks.

Once you noticed those sensations, stop. Don’t take it further, don’t judge “I shouldn’t feel that, I shouldn’t be red-faced”. Just take the information in and file it without tagging it “good” or “bad”. Go back to scanning and do it as many times as you need to cool off.

After you get familiar with observing your body, you can take the next step and do the same with your mind. Observe what feelings it puts out. Name them as exactly as you can: “my mind is making me feel ashamed“, “my mind is making me feel furious“. It is good information. It is not something you should believe or act upon. If you can trace the source you’re even better off: “my mind makes me feel ashamed I made a mistake because in the first grade the teacher always made crude fun of me because I wasn’t talented at math“. Seeing the source is valuable, because it shows you that your mood has less to do with Now and more to do with The Past. The link is emotional, not rational.

If you have ever been in a negotiation with an used-cars salesman (or any slick, fast-talking sales guy), you know how you look at him working his number, recognize the tricks in his book and smile inwardly “You won’t catch me this time, dude!

The same goes with your mind. It won’t catch you again, because you will recognize its trick, see right through them and take appropriate action, as opposed to the hasty things It wants you to do.

“Response” is the name of the game. “Reaction” is a thing of the past.

Continue with steps 6 and 7 by clicking here
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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here

Dealing With Stress, Step 4: You Are Not Your Mood

(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Your Mind and You are two different things. Any other part of your body hurting, you would say “my body part is hurting”. It is only with the mind that you say “I am hurting”.

Have you ever been overwhelmed by a feeling of dread, only to scan the near future and find nothing to explain that? It happens to me in the morning, usually. This is one of the many tricks in the mind’s arsenal. What happens is we surrender to the mood without questioning its validity.

But a bad mood is just that: a transient state of the mind. Brains have a way of taking over that other organs don’t. You just have to identify that for what it is: a state of one organ. Important, powerful, useful, but an organ nonetheless.

You can start by dis-identifying Yourself from Mind. Instead of simply surrendering and saying “I am anxious / furious / stressed out” switch to naming your feeling: “I feel anxiety / fury / stress“. This trick helps putting some distance between The Whole You and whatever happens inside.

Next, start calling out the perpetrator: “My mind is making me feel anxiety / fury / stress“. If you can, take a step back mentally and “see” your mind playing its little tricks.

Stop identifying yourself with the workings of your mind. Take a step back. Cool down. It is the most direct way of replacing reaction with response.

Read part 5

 

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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here

Dealing With Stress, Step 3: Don’t Fight Feelings

(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Fighting the feeling will only enhance its grip. That is something adults almost never tell kids, when it comes to “proper emotional reaction”. At least where I am from, “boys don’t cry”. I’ve been told that many times; I’ve never been told how to fight tears (and, of course, the more I tried, the more they would trickle down my cheeks, red-hot with shame).

One doesn’t justify feelings. They are what they are: a natural, honest and strong reaction of the mind (and body) to an unpleasant set of circumstances. You wouldn’t even dream to justify breathing and explain metabolism. Why would you need to treat feelings differently?

That “good” feeling / “bad” feeling dichotomy is a purely social construct. “Chase away the nature, it will return at a gallop” say the French. And, as Nature would do, the harder you fight it the more it will return with a vengeance.

So, next time you feel something you “shouldn’t” feel, stop fighting it. If it is fear you feel, allow it; if it is anger you feel, say to yourself “This is fear that I feel; I will allow it to rise and go away without fighting it“. Name it, observe it and let it be. Eventually, it will go away.

That is not to say you should indulge in manifesting your every feeling. Having that feeling is one thing; acting on it is a different beast altogether. Do not allow yourself to act under the pressure. Bad moods alter the worldview, and consequences could be more than you bargained for.

If need be, you can explain: “I am feeling very nervous right now and it has nothing to do with you. I do not want to talk / explain / tell the story and I do not want to engage further because I don’t really know what I can do, so please let me be for now and I will come to you later“.

Please, do not make the mistake of taking it out on whomever stays in front of you at the moment. Even if you explain later that “it had nothing to do with you, I was just angry“, some things cannot be undone.

Feel your feelings. Name them, call them out, let them come and go without resisting. Where they’ve been, the landscape will clear out and refresh, more often than not.

Read part 4

Do you want to find out more? Get in touch with a consultant now or request a free demo!

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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here