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Mental Health and its Importance during the COVID-19 Pandemic

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As news about the coronavirus outbreak continues to dominate the headlines and millions of people—in the U.S. and the world over—are being asked to self-quarantine, it has become increasingly significant to pay as much attention to our mental health as we do to our physical health. 

“Pandemics such as the one we are currently grappling with often ignite fear, anxiety and erratic behaviours,” says Dr. Kelly Vincent, a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in Encinitas, California. “When fear takes control, both our nervous system and emotional part of our brain go into overdrive. This response can lead to impulsiveness, panic and feeling out of control emotionally,” she says. “If a person has a pre-existing mental illness or history with anxiety and depression, it can often worsen and intensify during times such as these,” Dr. Vincent points out. If the stress and anxiety worsen then “it may trigger negative physical symptoms such as an elevated heart rate, insomnia, digestive issues, weakness and fatigue,” tells Dr. Janine Kreft, an Austin-based clinical psychologist. 

If you’ve been feeling anxious, frustrated, angry or downright confused lately, know that you’re not alone—we are all in this together.

Within weeks, the familiar symptoms of mental illness can become universal reality. A new poll from the Kaiser Family Foundation found nearly half of the respondents saying that their mental health was being harmed by the coronavirus pandemic. Nearly everyone on this planet is experiencing varying degrees of grief, panic, hopelessness and paralyzing fear. If you say now how terrified you are, the most common response you will get is “What sensible person isn’t?”

But that response can cause us to lose sight of the dangerous secondary crisis unfolding alongside the more obvious one: an escalation in both short-term and long-term clinical mental illness that may endure for decades after the pandemic recedes. When everyone else is experiencing depression and anxiety, real, clinical mental illness can get erased.

While both the federal and local governments have responded to the spread of the coronavirus in critical ways, acknowledgment of the mental illness vulnerabilities has been hasty. Governor Andrew Cuomo, who has so far enlisted more than 8,000 mental health providers to help New Yorkers in distress, is a fortunate and much welcomed exception.

The Chinese government moved psychologists and psychiatrists to Wuhan during the first stage of self-quarantine. No comparable measures have been initiated by our federal government.

The unequal treatment of the two kinds of health — physical over mental — is frighteningly similar with our society’s current disregard for psychological stability. Insurance does not offer real uniformity of coverage, and treatment for mood disorders is generally deemed a luxury item. Given the fact that we are facing a dual crisis of both physical and mental health, those facing psychiatric challenges deserve both acknowledgment and treatment.

There are roughly four responses to the coronavirus crisis and the social isolation. Some people take it all in stride and rely on a foundation of unshakable psychic stability. Others constitute the worried well, who need only a bit of psychological first aid. A third group who have not previously experienced these disorders are being catapulted into them. Last, many who were already suffering from major depressive disorder have had their condition exacerbated, developing what clinicians call “double depression,” in which a persistent depressive disorder is overlaid with an episode of unbearable pain.

Social isolation generates at least as much escalation of mental illness as does fear of the virus itself. Julianne Holt-Lunstad, a psychologist, found that social isolation is twice as harmful to a person’s physical health as obesity. For example, solitary confinement in prison systems causes panic attacks and hallucinations, among other symptoms. Isolation can even make people more vulnerable to the disease it is intended to forestall: Researchers have determined that “a lonely person’s immune system responds differently to fighting viruses, making them more likely to develop an illness.”

In order to improve your mental and emotional wellbeing, here are a few handy strategies to help you during these trying times:

Reduce Social Media & News Input

“I would encourage everyone to limit their exposure to the news and to customize their social media feeds—by following more accounts and pages that make them feel good—regardless of the current pandemic,” says Dr. Kreft. “Your brain is built to problem solve. And when you are already feeling fearful, it naturally seeks out stimuli in your external environment to reinforce the feeling of fear. The brain then deletes, distorts and generalizes all incoming information that does not align with your current emotional state or beliefs. So, if you spend a significant amount of time following the news, it reinforces more reason to worry— thus creating a vicious cycle.”

Get your Information from Trustworthy Sources

Some legitimate and reliable sources of COVID-19-related news and updates include the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), World Health Organization (WHO), John Hopkins’ Coronavirus Resource Center and the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA). “It is helpful to adopt a more analytical approach as you follow news reports about the coronavirus. You will also want to verify information that you receive from family, friends or social media,” says the American Psychological Association (APA). Moreover, “consume only what you need to know, what’s most relevant to you and particularly what is happening or anticipated in your own community,” suggests the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).

Maintain Connections with Friends & Family

“Maintaining social networks can foster a sense of normality and provide valuable outlets for sharing feelings and relieving stress,” states APA. “You can maintain these connections without increasing your risk of getting the virus by talking on the phone, texting or chatting with people on social media platforms,” it adds. In addition, you can take virtual tours together of museums, national parks and other sites via Google Arts & Culture, tune in to live-streamed concerts and other events or play online games with friends, suggests NAMI.

If the symptoms of stress and anxiety get any worse and you feel it is impairing your ability to function, please speak to an experienced mental health professional at the earliest.  “For anyone who is unsure about attending therapy sessions outside of home, especially those who the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) has described as being at higher risk, you can ask your health care provider about tele-therapy or mental health services online,” notes NAMI. 

Given our current situation knowing that your colleagues or employees are best suited for this new scenario we find ourselves in. Finding the right talent, the best fit for the job and your organisation can be a very challenging task. It is now important to find out whether your managers or your team is well-equipped of working together from various locations. It requires deep knowledge of their personalities, strengths, weaknesses, interests, work style and other characteristics. Our technology and solutions will do the work for you, helping you discover if your people are resilient during times of hardship, if they are autonomous, if they are team players, without actual human contact. Given that our platform is cloud-based, everyone can use it from home as well. Humanity finds itself at a crossroad for various reasons now, why not help people discover and develop themselves from the comfort of their own homes?

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Sources:

“Protecting Mental Health during Epidemics” Study prepared by Mental Health, Substance Abuse, and Rehabilitation Unit Technology and Health Services Delivery Pan American Health Organization (PAHO/WHO), originally appeared in Spanish.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/nomanazish/2020/03/24/how-to-protect-your-mental-health-during-the-coronavirus-pandemic-according-to-psychologists/#7f164f1841cb
https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/09/opinion/coronavirus-depression-anxiety.html

Why Team Building Is An Essential Investment

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Team building does not have the best reputation nowadays. Most people imagine being stuck with their co-workers for 1 or 2 days doing meaningless exercises that technically are supposed to increase productivity and collegiality.

Even though its reputation for being ineffective, team building has become one of the most important investments organisations can make for their employees. Despite the negatives emotions, it gives people, team building does build trust, alleviates conflict, boosts communication and enhances collaboration. Effective team building is what every company is looking for because it means a higher level of engagement in employees, which is fantastic for the bottom line. It can also be extremely fun if it’s done right.

It is clear as the light of day that the most successful team-building activities are the ones that make employees feel at ease and not all as having to go to work. Activities that are not at all subtle about aiming to reveal leadership and talent are obviously lowering enthusiasm amongst participants. By simply just spending time together and sharing experiences into completing a common goal allows co-workers to bond in a more natural way and it is by far more effective.

Unsurprisingly, happiness and learning have been correlated to work very well together. Most of the time, all companies have to do is introduce their employees to new things and activities which will, more often than not, will generate a feel-good factor which obviously translates into good news for the organisation. In the majority of cases, exercises that are out of the ordinary get people to work together in various new ways.

What is the purpose of team building?

Numerous analyses have revealed that people who participate in team building feel more positively about their team. This positivity is manifested in various ways such as more trust in their co-workers, more satisfaction that they’re part of a certain team and a lot more confidence that the team will achieve its targets.

Furthermore, employees that complete team building sessions together have better interactions: they communicate, coordinate and manage conflicts better. These processes are key in accomplishing the team’s ambitions.

However, team building may not directly improve team performance. Despite a better line of communication and more trustworthy workers, team building by itself doesn’t have a direct impact on performance. The reason for this is simply because performance relies on so many other factors besides team interactions that it shouldn’t be the only thing a company does if it wishes to improve performance levels.

When is team building the most effective?

Amongst team building activities, some are more effective than others. What sets apart most sessions is this: team building activities that focus on achieving goals and/or clarifying roles have the most beneficial impact. Achieving goals refers to define and clarify both individual and team objectives, and planning what actions need to be taken in order to turn objectives into reality. Clarifying roles purely means team members discuss what is and isn’t their task and understand their duties better.

On the other hand, team building exercises focused on improving interpersonal relations or solving already existing problems bring smaller, but still relevant benefits. Improving interoffice relations sees team members work on their trust among themselves whilst also building connections on a more personal level. Solving problems means identifying what doesn’t necessarily click between team members and planning on how to improve future situations.

Organisations must always remember that team building is not a splurge but merely an investment in the future! For example, one of the partners of NASCAR was invited for a day out on the tracks. 350$ for each employee wasn’t the most expensive nor cheap investment but at the end of the day, everything made sense. Everyone felt appreciated, given the fact that they were going around the track at over 233 kilometres per hour.

Daily Team Building Opportunities

Team building can include the daily interaction that employees engage in when working together to carry out the requirements of their jobs. This form of team building is natural and which can be assisted if the team takes the time required to come up with their own set of norms. The criteria help group members know how to appropriately interact with each other and the rest of the organisation.

Team building can also involve structured activities and exercises that employees on the team can lead, one way in which team criteria are established. As an alternative, with the proper budget and benchmark, managers can contract out for facilitation with an external resource. External facilitation, by an experienced person, can give your team building a boost.

No matter how an organisation chooses to build their group of employees into a team, the resulting bonds will enable them to accomplish the work and goals of the organisation more effectively than a group of people who don’t really know each other. As long as the company’s focus is dedicated to team building opportunities that lend themselves to the accomplishment of the actual work of the team, you are effectively building a team.

There is a real value in providing companies with the tools to carry out regular organisational assessments and this is where Great People Inside comes to your aid. Our online platform offers the best solutions and tools for your company to thrive in every type of industry and any possible situation your organisation may find itself. In terms of lowering your employee turnover rates, we recommend our GR8 Full Spectrum assessment for hiring and 360° Survey for retention. Finding the right talent, the best fit for the job and your organisation can be a very challenging task. It requires deep knowledge of your own organisation’s culture and a keen understanding of the candidate’s personality, strengths, interests, work style and other characteristics. Our technology and solutions will do the work for you, helping you find employees who can flourish and reach the highest performance required to constantly bring your company forward.

Request a free demo:

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Sources:

https://www.thebalancecareers.com/what-is-team-building-1918270

https://scienceforwork.com/blog/team-building/

https://www.forbes.com/sites/brianscudamore/2016/03/09/why-team-building-is-the-most-important-investment-youll-make/#1ba7fb90617f

Betrayal in the Workplace and How to Deal with It

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Betrayal comes in many ways and forms and the one that happens in the workplace is no different. There may be times when you be undermined by a co-worker during a presentation, ignored by your manager or blindsided by a fellow colleague. This almost always leads to professional and personal deception, which, more often than not, leads to unwarranted stress and disappointment. The next logical step in this situation would be to take some affirmative action, but caution is key here. It is imperative that you have a clear understanding of the situation and circumstances of the betrayal in order to fully understand what and how you have to act next.

Of course, in a perfect world scenario, team members, managers and leaders work towards the same goal. But, unfortunately, there are moments when you’re doing your job at peak performance and, out of the blue, your manager throws you under the bus. It is never good when it happens and as an ‘added bonus’ it can damage your reputation with others.

You can count on the fingers of one hand things that are more hurtful than betrayal, especially when it is done by a person of trust. When the betrayal is done by your boss, the pain can be exacerbated given the fact that it’s the person who impacts your career and, more or less, livelihood. Betrayal by your boss can come in numerous ways: public shaming for a colleague’s mistake, taking credit for a project you solely did and oversaw and giving the promotion they have promised you to someone else.  

Given the fact that we have a wide and complex range of emotions, our brains process betrayal as trauma and, just like every other trauma, we expect it to repeat itself. Reactions to boss betrayal can range from losing the ability to trust other co-workers, hindering your optimism and resilience during strenuous times and even lacking the capacity to deal with complex situations. When this happens, our own behaviour should start concerning us, not our boss’s.

Recent research has discovered that 85% of workplace betrayal is unintentional. Although your boss’s betrayal wasn’t intentional, it still raises serious questions regarding his personality and seriousness. Furthermore, the research has stated that after your manager behaves badly, you are more inclined to do the exact same thing. It is of the utmost importance that you are clear on the values you wish your professional relationship to be based upon.

Even though it is as clear as the light of day that you won’t be able to change your boss’s behaviour and attitude, you can still manage to keep their bad conduct from changing you. Here are a few ways how.

Focus and Get Your Facts Straight

Before you act on your emotions and anger you must be sure that the information you have is correct, especially if you have received it second-hand in the first place. It is recommended that we discuss and assess the situation with the people we trust the most and which witnessed the exact circumstances. Even if you discover that your boss actually betrayed you, emotions must be kept in check. If you give in to those emotions and react unprofessional, you will unwantedly pass along the negative news that is out there about you.

 Patterns of betrayal

People who, unfortunately, tolerate abusive behaviour all their lives believe they deserve it and this can happen with an abusive boss. In some strange manner, a sort of Stockholm syndrome sets in and you start to accept betrayal as something normal. This type of action can be counter measured by interrupting them as soon and as much as possible. If they fail to keep their promises, keep their commitments to you well-documented. If they take credit for your work, make sure there are other managers who know that you have worked on that project. These actions may not change the behaviour, but they may just keep your mental health in order.

Reach out to HR

If the workplace treatment you are receiving is becoming more and more unfair and abusive and you cannot handle it any longer it may be time to involve the human resources (HR) department. By reporting the issue to HR, you are not just helping yourself, but the company as a whole. Problem managers can be easily identified and removed from an organisation if HR is involved. Worst case scenario, HR can help you find other opportunities within the company if a ‘cease fire’ cannot be agreed upon with the problematic manager.

It is quintessential to remember that not everybody is out to betray you. It is understandable that if you are constantly betrayed by your boss, you can easily become paranoid and stop trusting people altogether. It is imperative that you pay attention to your emotions and behaviours. You do not want to damage your professional relationships with other authoritative figures within the business. Are you constantly questioning the actions and motives of the people you rely on doing for your job? Are you over-analysing the decisions people are making in the office? As mentioned earlier, betrayal is an incredibly powerful and toxic force which can easily spread in to all other aspects of your life. Keep reminding yourself that not everyone is out to get you.

In conclusion, it is safe to say that when you are working for a ‘betrayal boss’ you should get out of there as quickly as can be. Until you can make your professional move elsewhere, do anything in your powers to protect yourself and not become a shadow of your former self. The choice to allow their betrayal to negatively impact you and who you are is and will always be yours.

There is a real value in providing companies with the tools to carry out regular organisational assessments and this is where Great People Inside comes to your aid. Our online platform offers the best solutions and tools for your company to thrive in every type of industry and any possible situation your organisation may find itself. In terms of lowering your employee turnover rates, we recommend our GR8 Full Spectrum assessment for hiring and 360° Survey for retention. Finding the right talent, the best fit for the job and your organisation can be a very challenging task. It requires deep knowledge of your own organisation’s culture and a keen understanding of the candidate’s personality, strengths, interests, work style and other characteristics. Our technology and solutions will do the work for you, helping you find employees who can flourish and reach the highest performance required to constantly bring your company forward.

Request a free demo:

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Sources:

https://work.chron.com/survive-workplace-betrayal-18986.html

https://hbr.org/2019/07/what-to-do-when-your-boss-betrays-you

https://www.fastcompany.com/40437356/what-to-do-when-your-boss-throws-you-under-the-bus

Sleep Deprivation and How it Affects Performance

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Right after managers and employees have their first interaction, the process of forging their working relationship begins, which is a crucial factor in how they both are going to experience work, how much trust there will be between one another, and how effectively they can carry out assignments.  A new and possibly forgotten predictor in the quality of these work relations is sleep. Sleep deprivation for either the manager or employee or both could make them experience an increase in negative emotions at the workplace. Usually, these emotions are represented by hostility. Everyone reading this can remember at least one time when fewer hours of sleep translated into a short temper at the office. This is a common experience for almost everyone in the workforce and, most of the times, it is directly linked to sleep deprivation due to the fact that fewer hours of sleep impairs the part of the brain that regulates emotions.

Hostility can be dangerous for a new professional relationship. Hostility leads to the feeling of threat and can easily deteriorate the psychological safety of people in every possible context. If managers happen to yell at an employee once, it may not be an issue, nevertheless, if this a common practice in the office, employees may feel that their manager is lacking respect and empathy, hence leading to a weak work relationship.

Unfortunately, today’s business world promotes sleep deprivation as the highest ranking achievement possible. If you’re always busy and cannot be bothered to sleep then you’re definitely on the way to the top. The problem here is that science says the exact opposite, so who do we believe? It may sound tempting to trade away some hours of sleep in order to finish a few tasks, but by doing you may sabotage your own success and health. Perhaps it is time to get some sleep, or else you may face numerous risks.

At Harvard Medical School the Division of Sleep Medicine revealed the fact that short-term productivity gains from skipping sleep are quickly downplayed by the detrimental effects of sleep deprivation on a person’s mood, his or her ability to focus and access to higher-level brain functions. Interestingly enough, the negative effects of sleep deprivation are so considerable that even people who drink manage to outperform those without sleep.

Why We Need Acceptable Hours of Sleep

We all know that sleep is good for our brain and new found evidence from the research done by the University of Rochester has provided us with clear evidence on why your brain cells need you to rest. The study states that when people sleep the brain removes the toxic proteins from its neurons (by-products of neural activity while we’re awake). Unfortunately for us, the brain can only do while we’re asleep. Consequently, the toxic proteins remain in the brain cells, impairing our ability to think and no amount of coffee can solve that. These toxins slow our ability to process information and problem solving; it can also kill our creativity whilst catapulting our stress levels and emotional reactivity through the roof.

What Sleep Deprivation Does to Our Health

Sleep deprivation has been heavily linked to numerous serious health problems such as heart attacks, strokes, type 2 diabetes, and even obesity. The lack of sleep stresses us out because our body overproduces the stress hormone when its sleep deprived, also known as cortisol. Excess in cortisol levels has a host of negative effects that come from the damage it inflicts on our immune system. High cortisol in our body results in looking older, due to the fact that cortisol destroys skin collagen, the protein that keeps skin smooth and elastic.

Sleep deprivation also compromises our body’s ability to metabolise carbohydrates and control our food intake. Sleeping less and less results into eating more and more and also increasing the difficulty in burning the calories we consume. Due to the lack of sleep, our bodies get hungrier much faster and that is done through the appetite-stimulating hormone ghrelin and it also makes it harder for us to get full because it reduces levels of the satiety-inducing hormone leptin. There is a 30% increase in the likelihood of becoming obese for people who sleep less than 6 hours a night rather than those who sleep between 7 to 9 hours a night.

Besides the fact that it may harm professional relationships, sleep deprivation can also deplete us of the very traits that make us good at our jobs. For example, workplace leaders are known for their charisma and which translates into making employees want to work for and with them. Sleep deprivation saps all of the outstanding personality traits and all we are left with is a robotic, difficult person in its place.

Sleep is a critical part of our wellbeing and without it, we get emotional, stressed-out, forgetful, disorganised people at work. We are more likely to feel helpless and be unable to perform even the most menial of tasks or change perspective when our plans go awry. It’s time we stop encouraging sleep deprivation at the workplace. It’s not doing our career or our bodies any favours.

We have an impressive assessment library with hundreds of dimensions that can be leveraged in creating a custom skills-based assessment that supports your organisation’s specific competencies and unique vision. Please contact us if you need to measure the engagement level in your company.

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Sources:

https://hbr.org/2017/08/research-sleep-deprivation-can-make-it-harder-to-stay-calm-at-work

https://medium.com/the-mission/sleep-deprivation-is-killing-you-and-your-career-fd33e16ccf7f

https://www.thriveglobal.com/stories/16762-drunk-on-the-job-if-you-re-sleep-deprived-you-might-as-well-be

 

Dealing With Stress, Step 8: Acceptance

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(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Accepting one’s human, thus fallible, nature is hard for most people. Either because of the upbringing or because of acquired or innate perfectionism, it does not matter. The errors seem to bear a weight far greater than consequences would grant, usually.

Moreover, there seems to be a worldview that equates “error” to “personal flaw”, and as such any error seems to diminish the already frail sense of self-worth. Combine that with the over-the-top reactions of those around (how many times a small oversight was blown out of proportion by a boss or colleague? How many times small mishaps were used in office wars?), and errors sometimes take on the color of impending doom.

Now, take a break from the self-blame cycle and imagine that the very same thing, in the same circumstances, happened to one of your friends, and you have to talk to him.

How would you treat your friend?

Would you beat them over the head and make them grovel in penance? Or would you encourage them to go on, correct any consequences to the best of their abilities and learn from their mistakes?

I bet most answers would be the latter, not the former: encourage, support, learn, move on.

Why would you treat yourself differently?

Next time you get into hot water for something you did, stop beating yourself and imagine the same thing happened to one of your friends. And treat yourself as you would treat that friend. Strive, of course, to mitigate any negative results, apologize and correct where this is due, but stop before putting yourself through a court-martial again.

Compassion is not only for strangers; it is mainly for yourself. Not because you are selfish, but because you are your most important resource. Take care of that resource before it wears out.

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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here

Dealing With Stress, Step 6 and 7: Focus Attention Elsewhere

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(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Stop ruminating. It is natural, but not always constructive. I’d dare to say it almost never proves useful. It is not to say you shouldn’t analyse what happened; this helps you learn and get better at things. But it doesn’t help in any way to replay the movie time and again, beating yourself up or inventing alternative scenarios.

In order to stop brooding and start building, turn your attention to the outside. Consciously establish your objective: “I will scan the street and take in as many details of the outside world as I can“. Focus on things you like. If you are passionate about colors, look for every shade, for every nuance you encounter. If you are into smells, remark as many different smells, aromas, flavors as you can, from the fleeting perfumes of the passers-by to the thick smell of restaurant kitchens to the sharp smell of fresh paint as you pass by a door being redecorated. Whatever you like, look for it actively.

At first, this probably won’t last long. Your mind wants you ruminating. That’s OK. Don’t fret, don’t judge yourself, don’t try too hard. Observe the return to inner scenarios, file the fact away and get your eyes and attention back outside. Repeat as necessary.

If at all possible, take yourself into the nature: a wood, a park, a field. Nature is a healer, more so than any other man-made environment. But if you can’t, the cityscape will do nicely, as long as you remember that the essence is not succeeding in this exercise, but the repetition itself. Right, the repetition. Just like at the gym: it is not the weight you’re lifting, but how many times you lift it, that shapes muscles.

Attention and focus are much like muscles: you have to work them to make them stronger.

And while you’re at it, combine it with Step 7: straighten up. Raise your forehead, look upon the world as you own it and soon you will be better. “Fake it till you make it” is not a lie. It takes effort, for sure. But it works.

If your mind plays tricks on you, it is only adequate for you to play tricks back on it. You should be the winner.

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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here

Dealing With Stress, Step 5: Clinical Mode On

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(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Observing dispassionately allows control. Once you managed to take the previous step (dis-identifying Yourself from Mind) – or even at the same time – start observing yourself as you would an item in a museum.

Start by observing what happens inside your body. It is easier with the body, because it doesn’t play the identification trick. Scan your muscles, your gut, your heart, your face. Notice the tension in your arms and legs, notice the feeling of a solid rock in your belly, notice the fast-paced, shallow breathing, notice the sensation of heat in your cheeks.

Once you noticed those sensations, stop. Don’t take it further, don’t judge “I shouldn’t feel that, I shouldn’t be red-faced”. Just take the information in and file it without tagging it “good” or “bad”. Go back to scanning and do it as many times as you need to cool off.

After you get familiar with observing your body, you can take the next step and do the same with your mind. Observe what feelings it puts out. Name them as exactly as you can: “my mind is making me feel ashamed“, “my mind is making me feel furious“. It is good information. It is not something you should believe or act upon. If you can trace the source you’re even better off: “my mind makes me feel ashamed I made a mistake because in the first grade the teacher always made crude fun of me because I wasn’t talented at math“. Seeing the source is valuable, because it shows you that your mood has less to do with Now and more to do with The Past. The link is emotional, not rational.

If you have ever been in a negotiation with an used-cars salesman (or any slick, fast-talking sales guy), you know how you look at him working his number, recognize the tricks in his book and smile inwardly “You won’t catch me this time, dude!”

The same goes with your mind. It won’t catch you again, because you will recognize its trick, see right through them and take appropriate action, as opposed to the hasty things It wants you to do.

“Response” is the name of the game. “Reaction” is a thing of the past.

Continue with steps 6 and 7 by clicking here
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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here

Dealing With Stress, Step 4: You Are Not Your Mood

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(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Your Mind and You are two different things. Any other part of your body hurting, you would say “my body part is hurting”. It is only with the mind that you say “I am hurting”.

Have you ever been overwhelmed by a feeling of dread, only to scan the near future and find nothing to explain that? It happens to me in the morning, usually. This is one of the many tricks in the mind’s arsenal. What happens is we surrender to the mood without questioning its validity.

But a bad mood is just that: a transient state of the mind. Brains have a way of taking over that other organs don’t. You just have to identify that for what it is: a state of one organ. Important, powerful, useful, but an organ nonetheless.

You can start by dis-identifying Yourself from Mind. Instead of simply surrendering and saying “I am anxious / furious / stressed out” switch to naming your feeling: “I feel anxiety / fury / stress“. This trick helps putting some distance between The Whole You and whatever happens inside.

Next, start calling out the perpetrator: “My mind is making me feel anxiety / fury / stress“. If you can, take a step back mentally and “see” your mind playing its little tricks.

Stop identifying yourself with the workings of your mind. Take a step back. Cool down. It is the most direct way of replacing reaction with response.

Read part 5

 

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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here

Dealing With Stress, Step 3: Don’t Fight Feelings

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(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Fighting the feeling will only enhance its grip. That is something adults almost never tell kids, when it comes to “proper emotional reaction”. At least where I am from, “boys don’t cry”. I’ve been told that many times; I’ve never been told how to fight tears (and, of course, the more I tried, the more they would trickle down my cheeks, red-hot with shame).

One doesn’t justify feelings. They are what they are: a natural, honest and strong reaction of the mind (and body) to an unpleasant set of circumstances. You wouldn’t even dream to justify breathing and explain metabolism. Why would you need to treat feelings differently?

That “good” feeling / “bad” feeling dichotomy is a purely social construct. “Chase away the nature, it will return at a gallop” say the French. And, as Nature would do, the harder you fight it the more it will return with a vengeance.

So, next time you feel something you “shouldn’t” feel, stop fighting it. If it is fear you feel, allow it; if it is anger you feel, say to yourself “This is fear that I feel; I will allow it to rise and go away without fighting it“. Name it, observe it and let it be. Eventually, it will go away.

That is not to say you should indulge in manifesting your every feeling. Having that feeling is one thing; acting on it is a different beast altogether. Do not allow yourself to act under the pressure. Bad moods alter the worldview, and consequences could be more than you bargained for.

If need be, you can explain: “I am feeling very nervous right now and it has nothing to do with you. I do not want to talk / explain / tell the story and I do not want to engage further because I don’t really know what I can do, so please let me be for now and I will come to you later“.

Please, do not make the mistake of taking it out on whomever stays in front of you at the moment. Even if you explain later that “it had nothing to do with you, I was just angry“, some things cannot be undone.

Feel your feelings. Name them, call them out, let them come and go without resisting. Where they’ve been, the landscape will clear out and refresh, more often than not.

Read part 4

Do you want to find out more? Get in touch with a consultant now or request a free demo!

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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here

Dealing With Stress, Step 2: Feelings are natural

/in /by

(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

Feelings are natural, they are not a flaw. We are wired to feel down, empty, nervous, anxious or furious. Don’t blame yourself.

When you’re happy, content or joyous you never second-guess your feelings, do you? Why would you do that when you’re down, adding a supplementary layer of negative? Aren’t they all the same: feelings?

It bugged me since I was a kid, hearing “You shouldn’t feel [down, unhappy, sad], think of all the kids out there who don’t have half of what you have!” I couldn’t point out why, but I was (at least) annoyed. It was like my feelings should have had some kind of universal scale of measurement and go through a global referendum, in order for said feelings to be “valid”.

Nature wired us for feeling emotions. “Bad” emotions are like “bad” breathing – they don’t exist. Fury, anger, sadness, desperation – all are natural. They are what they are and they make you feel what they make you feel. You cannot deny, choke or feint them – at least not forever. They are your emotions, and are natural (acting on them is another thing entirely…).

You don’t have to feel anything. What you feel is what you feel. Numbness is what should get you worried.

So, let feelings be. They are Mother Nature’s way of letting us know something isn’t quite right. Just like breaking the bulb of an alarm lamp does not make things right, denying feelings serves no purpose. Notice your feelings, give them names, get friendly with them. Just don’t act on them.

Read part 3

Do you want to find out more? Get in touch with a consultant now or request a free demo!

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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here