Breathe<\/strong><\/p>\n Through simple mindfulness techniques, you can manage tense situations and none is more straightforward than using your breath. If you start noticing you\u2019re getting tense, try to focus on breathing pattern. Acknowledge the sensation of air coming in and out of your lungs. Feel how it passes through your nostrils or down the back of your throat. This will take your attention off the signs of panic.\u00a0Some mindfulness experts suggest counting your breath.<\/p>\n Acknowledge and define your feelings<\/strong><\/p>\n Another useful tactic comes from the renowned author of Emotional Agility,<\/em> Susan David. When you start feeling emotional \u201cthe attention you give towards your thoughts and feelings may crowd your mind and judgement,\u201d says Susan David. In order to distance yourself from that feeling,\u00a0define it. \u201cCall a thought a thought and an emotion an emotion,\u201d says the author.\u00a0 When you manage to distance yourself from these emotions, thus making it easier to let them go \u2014 but don\u2019t bury them or let them explode later. Sometimes expressing your emotions is all that\u2019s needed to make an employee feel like they\u2019ve been heard. If tears are involved, empathy is the recommended course of action. If your employee is angry, acknowledge and understand their frustration, but if that anger becomes insulting, calmly make it clear that you will not tolerate\u00a0violent language or threatening behaviour.<\/p>\n Take a break <\/strong><\/p>\n This is an underused approach. The more time you give yourself to process your emotions, the less intense they will be. So\u00a0when things start escalating, just excuse yourself for a moment \u2014 get some coffee or water, go to the bathroom, or take a brief stroll through the office. It is essential\u00a0to give a neutral reason for why you want to pause the conversation \u2014 the last thing you want is for the other person to think that things are going so badly you just want to escape.<\/p>\n Keep in mind that you\u2019re probably not the only one who\u2019s upset or angry. Your counterpart may very well express anger or frustration. While you may want to give them the above advice, no one wants to be told they need to breathe more deeply or take a break. You both may require just a little bit of time alone to vent. Of course, that\u2019s usually easier said than done. It\u2019s difficult not to yell back when you\u2019re being screamed at, but more screaming isn\u2019t going to help. At the same time, don\u2019t act aloof because it\u2019s important to show the other person that you\u2019re listening. If you manage not to feed your counterpart\u2019s negative emotion with your own, it becomes more plausible for them to calm down.<\/p>\n Keep your impatience in check<\/strong><\/p>\n Finally, the demon you will have to wrestle the most with is your own impatience for getting the result you want. You will need to be patient and let the situation unfold itself. When you think you know exactly what is wrong with the other person\u2019s thinking, your best approach is to ask them questions that will enable them to see other possibilities, ones that are much closer to your point of view. Don\u2019t slip and tell people what is wrong with their thinking, because their brains will shut down and you have to be patient with silence. Silence is a good indicator that what you said or asked made the person stop and think about their ideas and arguments. The best thing you can do is to be patient and allow the person\u2019s brain to process the information.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t take it personally. Watch out for your own defensive mechanism, especially if the employee has said something in the heat of the moment. Remember that frustration is usually the cause of such outbursts at the office. You\u2019re not going to solve the underlying issues or maintain a positive relationship if you barrel through the conversation when you\u2019re completely worked up.<\/p>\n We have an impressive assessment library with hundreds of dimensions that can be leveraged in creating a custom skills-based assessment that supports your organisation\u2019s specific competencies and unique vision. Please\u00a0contact us<\/strong>\u00a0if you need to measure the engagement level in your company.<\/p>\n
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