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Dealing With Stress, Step 1: You Are Not Alone

(This article is a part of a series; please start here)

You are not the only one in such a predicament: we all have rough patches and difficult moments. Some of us are better at hiding it, but on the inside we’re all the same colour.

Most of us, when in the throes of fate, feel we’re alone in our suffering. We may receive help and support from people who care for us, and we are grateful for that, but even this help-and-support come from someone who is not, right now, with us, in such a deep pain. More, we observe the world around us and see other enjoying things and feelings we so sorely lack.

a) For many, it’s about the image they put out: the deep truth is different in the overwhelming majority of cases. People will put out their best image and pour mountains of effort into safeguarding the social image (isn’t that what “inner power” is all about? Showing “strength” while bleeding inside?); and we see that image. The soul behind it is way more in pain and frazzled.

That realisation came to me during conversation with my spouse about some friends that seemed poised to do well; she casually said “The other day I heard her say the only thing she had left in common with her husband were the kids and the credits”.

You might think you’re alone. You might even feel loneliness. It is only natural; it is usually patently untrue. Take a moment to look around you closely. We all have our troubles. You have companions in your plight – only you do not know them. You don’t have to, just know they are there.

b) Preparation is everything: take care and assemble a Team You: people who know you, love you just the way you are and accept you with all your little quirks and peculiarities. Talk to them one by one or in a group setting.

Be as direct and clear as you can: “Friend / mom / pop / sibling, I’m approaching (or already crossing) a very rough patch in my life. I need all the love and support I can muster. I need you to support me now and show me later where I’ve done wrong. Would you do that?

This is not the time to be evasive and hope they’ll get it. Certainly, you’ll be in for some surprises. Many think “tough love” is the way (it is not, in many cases). But you’ll end up with a Team You ready to support you, ready to be your cheerleaders, a handy resource to have in dire times.

Have them know you value and cherish their support and lean on them in troubled times. That way, you’ll know you never walk alone.

Read part 2

Do you want to find out more? Get in touch with a consultant now or request a free demo!

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By Catalin Octavian Blaga – Trainer Great People Inside

Trainer who turns business experience and psychology into impacting training programs… and more!  You can find out more about Catalin by clicking here

 

Great People Inside Conference: The New World of Work – 12,13 October Brasov, Romania

Registration for the Great People Inside Conference: “The New World of Work” has started!

The event taking place between 12th and 13th October 2016, at Kronwell Hotel, Brasov, Romania,  is an unique concept bringing together business representatives, entrepreneurs, managers, specialists and researchers in the field of human resources from all industries, psychologists, representatives of central and local authorities, large consulting companies, as well as internationally renowned experts from the United States of America, Denmark, Israel, Norway, Ireland, Italy, Spain, United Arab Emirates.

“The New World of Work” conference will generate exciting and challenging discussions on the changing nature of work, providing at the same time, practical strategies and insights about how these challenges can be harnessed as opportunities for innovation and development.

Event Partners: Polipol, Contempo Cars, Romanian Software, Tuborg, EximBank, ICF România, Wellington,  AON, BestSmart Consulting, Benefit, Oracle, Hațegan Attorneys, Exelo, Kirchhoff Automotive, MaxRelax, UP Romania, HTI Romania, PP Romania, AHK, Wine in Business.

Supported by: Steaua CSM EximBank, Daiana Stoicescu & YouAreMore.

Media Partners: Realitatea TV, KISS FM, Mix TV, Mix 2 TV, Revista Cariere, HR Manager, 4Career, Learn&Go, Stirea Zilei.com, Detectiveconomic.ro, Biztop.ro, Revista Metropola, Prețul Zilei, myTEX, Brașovultau.ro, Monitorul Expres, Radio Brașov, Jurnalul de Maine. 

For more details, you can access the website dedicated to the event here.

 

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What are the leaders of today truly made of?

There’s been a long debate whether great leaders are born or made… As pointed out in an article on Forbes, it turns out that both parties are right. A definition of leadership, as suggested by researchers, would be a mixture of some genetics and of a whole lot more hard work and persistence. In fact, one study from The Leadership Quarterly on heritability (that is, the innate skills you bring to the table) and human development (what you learn along the way) estimated that leadership is 24%  genetic and 76 percent learned.

However, some people strongly believe that you are brought into this world as a leader – and you cannot do anything about it.

Well, this stands true for a small percentage of the population. As a matter of fact, over the course of history,  there were some people that undeniably had the leadership gene imprinted in their DNA. It is the case of those who gained followers due to their sheer presence and charisma: Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi are just a few of them. People with a similar kind of gifts are born every day, even if they don’t have the same impact.

Research show that there are two innate traits that are common to the majority of successful leaders: extroversion and conscientiousness.

According to a meta-analysis led by Timothy Judge, Ph.D., a professor at the Mendoza College of Business at the University of Notre Dame, extroversion is the best predictor of leadership effectiveness, followed closely by conscientiousness.

As it is mentioned in an article from Business Insider,  “psychologists define extroversion as sociability and enthusiasm, while conscientiousness refers to your organization and work ethic. More recent research has found that conscientiousness is the only major personality trait that consistently predicts success, largely because highly conscientious individuals are good at setting and working toward goals.”

What does this mean for the aspiring leaders? Well, if conscientiousness and extroversion are the only innate traits that commonly predict leadership effectiveness – and even those can be worked upon – then all you have to do is to improve and develop your other skills and behaviours that would make you a great leader. Aside from the well known qualities that have defined great leaders since the beginning of time – the ability to communicate effectively, fairness, foresight and inspiration – the dynamics of today’s business world require leaders to develop a whole new set of skills and abilities if they want to thrive in the VUCA environment that we live in (Volatility, Uncertainty, Complexity, Ambiguity).

Great People Inside through a&dc’ LIVED® model puts forward five elements that leaders need to focus on, in order to deliver tangible business results and shine in the VUCA world: Learning, Intellect, Values, Emotions and Drive. By mastering each of these five dimensions, the leaders will be fully equipped to face the challenges of an increasingly fast paced world of work.

Learning – Willing and able to adapt to new environments and challenges by drawing on learning and feedback from previous experiences.

Intellect – Thinks incisively, deals effectively with complex and ambiguous information, sees issues in the broader context and takes sound decisions based on this analysis.

Values – Acts in an authentic and consistent way, inspires trust and demonstrates integrity, courage and respect for others.

Emotions – Manages own emotions effectively, builds positive relationships and uses emotions to influence and inspire others.

Drive – Sets challenging goals, takes an action oriented approach and shows passion and determination to overcome obstacles, act decisively and achieve results.

These are all aspects that you can improve, and while some people are born with the innate traits that will make their leadership journey easier, none of them will prevail in today’s complex and unpredictable business world without working hard to constantly develop their abilities and without a insatiable hunger for learning.

 

 

We have an impressive assessment library with hundreds of dimensions that can be leveraged in creating a custom skills-based assessment that supports your organisation’s specific competencies and unique vision. Please contact us if you need to assess and develop the leaders in your company.